Monday, September 13, 2010

Trying Not to be Cynical

So this morning I was approached by a woman at the gas station claiming her car had broken down and her kids were sleeping in the car. Yeah I know, it’s a typical panhandler line, but I was feeling charitable so I tried to help her and her kids out. I’d had a really bad week and I was projecting a little bit. If her week was half as bad as mine she could use someone to trust her.
Well to make a long story short: I never saw the kids or the truck and I got cussed out when I wouldn’t pay for a hotel room. I told her she could get out of my truck here or I could drop her off at the police station a block away.
Yeah I know it had all the signs of a scam from the beginning, but don’t they all? So here’s my question. How do you give people the benefit of a doubt without setting yourself up for being scammed? I stuck to my rule of helping rather than just giving them a handout. And I’m glad I did. But how do I now prevent this experience from jading me for next time? What tools do you use to tell who really needs help?

4 comments:

  1. Don't ask me. I'm a sucker. Although I've been watching Leverage. Think that'll help?

    http://www.teacherninjas.com/2008/05/michael-allen-buckner.html

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  2. I have a policy of doing my best to help somebody and not just giving them cash. I was willing to help fix her truck and get her kids somewhere to sleep. Our church has what they call a transient bishop who helps folks like this who are stranded when travelling. When it became clear that the only thing that would make her happy was money I excused myself politely from the situation. Even as she was getting out of the car I was still willing to fill her truck up but she didn't accept. If she really needed gas why in the world would she have passed that up?

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  3. It's tough not to become jaded about giving a helping hand. I've spent the better part of 12 years working in a one mile radius of my state capitol and for the most part, I have become very picky as to I extend a helping hand to.

    Tell you one thing though, I will not extend a hand to someone who dresses in the latest hip-hop fashion and approaches me for spare change.

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  4. When I worked in downtown Cincinnati, I used to carry packaged food with me, so I could hand a granola bar to anyone asking for money for food. And I once gave a pair of mittens to a blind man who said he didn't care that they were pink, and thinking of that makes me feel less jaded to this day.

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