"A Whole Bunch of Blind People"

I have no idea what exactly started this conversation. Sunday evening Noah and Eve were down in the den watching Dr. Who and Noah comes up and begins to pontificate. This is a common occurance. Victoria and I have learned to listen closely when he's at the podium.
“Hey, Dad. The way I see it if somebody pucks your eyeball out and you go pluck out theirs pretty soon you’re just gonna have a whole bunch of blind people.”
I assured him that he was exactly correct and then pulled up a quote that sounded very similar to Noah’s epiphany.
“An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind.” Mohandas K. Gandhi
Noah though it was cool that somebody else had the same idea. What I thought was so cool is that this basic philosophy seems like complete common sense to a ten year old. Yet it was also rather sad that this logic completely escapes most politicians.
As I read this over I think I prefer Noah’s phrasing to Gandhi’s. Something about the childish use of the word eyeball and pluck reminds me that it came from a ten year old and makes it seem whimsical yet no less profound.

Riding in Cars with Boys

This conversation took place while driving three ten year-old boys who are unapologetic geeks to the movies.

Noah: I'm telekinetic
Me: Oh really? Well if you're telekinetic raise my hand.
pause
Me: But I really am telekinetic.
Boy1: Oh Yeah, prove it.
Me: I can make everybody in this car suddenly lurch forward.
At this point I was coming to a stop anyway so I hit the brakes a little harder that I normally would have.
Noah, Boy1 and Boy2: (in unison) That's not telekinetic. That's just kinetic.

More Noahisms

Noah: Dad how long have we had Earth Day?
Me: I think I saw somewhere that this was the 40th year.
N: And who invented Earth Day anyway?
M: I don't know, Noah. Why don't you look it up when we get home and then let us know what you found out.
N: Naaa. It was probably just some hippy.

Noahisms Continued

So my girls got the chance to march in a parade around the field to start off the Braves game on Sunday. Normally I wouldn't have skipped church to go to a ball game ,but to see your little Girl Scouts in a parade before the game, now that was a little different story.

Well before the game I overhead Noah sharing the wisdom he learned at the last game with his little sister. It went something like this:

"Now Eve, since you've never been to a baseball game before I just wanna warn you about something. You see there is no clock in baseball. They just keep on playing. It could take three years to get to the ninth inning!"

As if Noah's perception of baseball being an open-ended never ending game wasn't skewed enough.
Yesterday at about 4:00 when the game was tied 4-4 I had to explain the concept of extra innings to him. He was just livid.
We eventually left at the top of the 13th inning when they announced that it was the longest game of the season so far.

Noahisms

My 8 year old is from another planet. He's a full developed hyper-intelligent visitor from an M-class planet orbiting the star Deneb. Noah is pretending to be a human and for the most part he fools us. Occasionally his unearthly habits betray his alien ancestry. Sometimes it's his diet. He only eats chicken nuggets and ketchup. And he's deathly afraid of coming into contact with any earthling microbes.
The best part about living with Noah is that when he gets tired, angry or just lazy he forget to dumb down his conversations with us. Last week he told his sister, "I'm not talking to you again on this space-time continuum." Last night's Noahism took the cake. I'm not sure what prompted it but Victoria and I heard from the hall, "Back off! I've got a protractor and I'm not afraid to use it!"
I have no doubt that some day this little man will crack string theory and figure out how to control matter and energy at the quantum level. I'm just afraid he'll use his powers to create a secret underwater lair and plot for world domination.